When you ask someone what they want most in their lives or what they want for their children, a common answer is, “I just want to be happy” or “I just want my children to be happy.”
But what does it mean to be happy? Happiness is a goal for most people, yet it is harder to define than it seems at first glance.
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment.”
Psychologists and social scientists more often use the term “subjective well-being” since happiness is such a broadly used term with many different implied meanings depending on the person. They often refer to two components of happiness or subjective well-being: balance of emotions and life satisfaction.
Arthur Brooks, Harvard Professor and Social Scientist, breaks the components of happiness into three parts: enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose. He compares these three components to the three dietic macronutrients – carbohydrates, protein, and fat. To have a healthy diet, you need the appropriate combination of macronutrients. To be happy, you need a balanced combination of enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.
Many people associate happiness with joy or pleasure, good feelings. Indeed, joy is a happy emotion, but does being happy mean experiencing continuous pleasure?
The terms pleasure and enjoyment are often used interchangeably. However, they are not the same thing. Pleasure is something that happens to you and is typically a fleeting experience. Enjoyment is created through your effort, has lasting effects, and creates positive memories. You can derive pleasure from the consumption of alcohol, a narcotic, or some other mind-altering drug or engaging in some other purely self-gratifying behavior. However, those effects are usually fleeting and soon forgotten.
One example from the Bible that illustrates this is Hebrews 11:24-25 “By faith Moses, when he became of age, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, choosing rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the passing pleasures of sin,” (NKJV)
Notice the emphasis on the fleeting nature of pleasure in this verse, “the passing pleasures of sin.” Moses would have experienced this pleasure simply due to his station in life, being called the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. Pleasure is something that happens to you and is temporary. Enjoyment is created through effort and has lasting effects.
There is nothing wrong in and of itself from experiencing pleasure, but solely seeking pleasure for pleasure’s sake will not lead to lasting happiness.
One of my favorite examples of happiness or life satisfaction in the Bible is from Paul’s letter to the Philippians 4:11-13, “For I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (KJV)
Paul uses the word “content”. Remember that Merriam-Webster defines happiness as “a state of well-being and contentment.” In other words, Paul has learned to be happy regardless of his circumstances. His life is filled with purpose, satisfaction, and enjoyment, irrespective of temporary external difficulties or situations.
Many people mistakenly believe that to be happy, you need to eliminate all unhappiness. Another way to state this is that there is a misconception that to experience happy emotions, you must eliminate all negative emotions. In fact, negative emotions are necessary to keep us alive.
Psychologists agree that humans need both positive and negative emotions. The exact number of basic positive and negative emotions varies by researcher, but most break emotions into these primary types: love, joy, and interest – the positive ones, anger, sadness, fear, and disgust – the negative ones. We all like feelings of love and joy, but what possible use are emotions like anger and fear?
Emotions like fear keep us alive. When we are hiking, and a grizzly bear starts running toward us, fear motivates us to take shelter before becoming the grizzly bear’s dinner. The disgust we get from the smell we get when we open that container of egg salad that has been sitting on the kitchen counter for a week prevents us from eating it and becoming sick and dying of food poisoning.
Our Creator made our brains so that our bodies react quickly in dangerous situations. Psalms 139:14 says, “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (KJV). An example is when you are crossing the street and suddenly a car approaches you at high speed. The part of your brain, called the limbic system, kicks in before you have time to consciously think about what to do. Your body immediately gets a kick of adrenaline; your heart beats faster, your lungs breathe more efficiently, your brain gets a shot of glucose, and you jump out of the way before you can even think about it. It isn’t until a few seconds later that you begin to think about what just happened. Often, negative emotions arise to let you know that you need to do something to protect yourself and stay alive.
Happiness is less about how many good things happen to you versus how many bad things happen to you and more about what we do to strengthen our mental well-being and handle life’s inevitable challenges. Matthew 5:45 says, “He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.” (NKJV) Everyone will face challenges and adversity in their lives.
Do you want to become happier? You can. You can learn how to increase the love and joy in your life. You can learn to recognize that many of the negative emotions we feel, like anger, sadness, and fear, are there to let us know that something is not going well, and we need to acknowledge these emotions and take appropriate action to keep us safe and alive.
In future articles, you will find concrete steps that you can take to increase your happiness and life satisfaction regardless of your current situation. You can learn to become happier. There are scientifically proven actions that you can take to improve your happiness and well-being. Not only does scientific research demonstrate these concepts, but these actions follow core Biblical principles.
